When you're being most difficult is when you need most to be loved

You know how sometimes it feels like you're going through your own personal version of hell? Honestly, are you nice to people? Is your first instinct to go out and be generous and helpful? For most of us, that is a big N.O.

We contract into a grumpy, petty little hurt animal that often lashes out at anyone approaching just because our critter brain is in survival mode and any perceived threat or distraction must be obliterated. Yes?

Sometimes we are lucky enough to have someone who loves us even though we lash out at them. They persevere and hold our hand saying, “I'm here for you. You're not alone.”

It means more than anything, when we are blinded by sadness, anger and fear to know someone has our back even though we're miserable to be around.

Is there anyone in your life right now who is being really difficult? Sometimes it's so bad that everyone backs away, unwilling to suffer any unwarranted injury. We “establish healthy boundaries” with them because their pain scares us or we aren't able to cope with the situation.

But, when someone is hurting so much that all they can do is dish out their pain, that's the time they need to be loved the most. Somehow, their situation has completely depleted their stores of love so that there's none left for them to draw on and yes, it's our job to fill one another's love reserves back up, even if it's hard. Especially when it's hard!

I hope you'll take a few minutes this week to be compassionate to people who are angry, hurting or having a really hard time and let them know they aren't alone. Give them a little love boost. It can be as easy as letting them tell you their story and knowing you hear them.

If it makes you more comfortable to do it anonymously, ok, but I'd like to invite you to own it – there's something really valuable to knowing someone is intentionally there for you rather than a roll of the cosmic dice happened to land on your number that day.

We all need our hand held some days.

Killing sugar addiction

I learned something interesting about sugar addiction that changed my life.  After years of quitting sugar just to be drawn back in with fierce cravings I learned about the "bad" bacteria that feed on it that live in your digestive system and how they not only cause vicious cravings but are also releasing toxins that are no good.


I attended a nutrition class recently where they were talking about fermented foods - something that just one generation ago was a dietary staple but with the industrialization of food has fallen to the wayside.  What's important about them is that they are full of pro-biotics which are important for our health (beyond "regularity") including things like moods, energy and cravings.

You probably hear a lot of talk about pro-biotics lately, Jaime Lee Curtis commercials come to mind.  Personally, I hesitate to take them in supplement form because not only do many brands have undisclosed gluten in them, but most studies show that the chance of those organisms surviving through your digestion to get where they need to be for health benefits is slim to none.

On the other hand, fermented foods are also full of pro-biotics and the likelihood of their survival to the final destination in your digestive tract is high.  Why?  Because you are getting them with the food that they live on, so they have a snack on their way to where they need to be.  Like packing a cooler for your road trip!

How does this apply to sugar addiction?  When you have a system full of bad bacteria, a lot of them thrive on sugar (and release toxins, which don't make you feel good).  So, they are constantly sending out signals in your bloodstream, to your brain, for more sugar.  Your brain doesn't differentiate, all you know is that part of your body is desperate for sugar.  So, you crave it and willpower only gets you so far in avoiding it until that craving is so strong, you give in.  Sound familiar? No?  Just me then...

They have found that if you get more of the beneficial bacteria into your system (and feed them what they love, like veggies), they will thrive and crowd out the bad bacteria and you'll feel better.  Not only do you get the health benefits of the good guys but the fewer bad guys, the fewer sugar craving signals and that puts you back in control.

So, what finally helped me get over the sugar addiction was delicious fermented foods - sauerkraut and kimchi, specifically.  I started adding them to at least 1 meal daily and not only did my health start to improve, but the sugar cravings waned.  I still have to deal with that lovely sugar "high" addiction, related to the kick your brain gets when it's hit with sugar, but willpower can get you so far :)

On a side note, other fermented foods like yogurt are recommended but keep in mind how much sugar are in a lot of those brands, which might derail your progress.

If you need a little help kicking a sugar habit as well, try making your own kraut at home to start.  It's super easy and cheap.  All you need is 5 lbs of cabbage and 3 Tablespoons of sea salt (not iodized).  Chop up the cabbage, mix in the salt until it releases some water and then pack it down tightly in a crock or jars so that the veggies are submerged below the brine (salt water released by the cabbage).  You might need to put something on it to squash down the cabbage so the brine stays above it (like a plate or bowl).  Put it in a cool place like your pantry. Wait 4-6 weeks, until it smells and tastes good and enjoy!  You can experiment with other veggies and quantities, just keep the 5:3 ratio.

If you're looking for fermented veggies at the store, they can be hard to find - don't look in the canned food aisle - those have been heated high enough to kill the bacteria before canning.  Try the refrigerated section in a natural grocery or your local farmer's market.  Look for "raw" and "pro-biotic" brands.

Let me know how it goes!