It seems like it takes a major life
event or great amount of wealth for most of us to write a will.
Maybe because it solidifies mortality in our minds and that is scary
or maybe, like me, you don't think you need one because you're young,
single and fancy free.
This year, I
decided to deep clean my house as a birthday gift to myself. A fresher start
to a new year. As I was going through some keepsakes, I had things
from my grandma who passed away a few years ago and I wondered how
difficult it was for her kids to carry out her wishes. I don't
know if she had a will or left specific instructions, but I do know there
were decisions left to the family, requiring some
awkwardness during a very difficult time.
I realized that I want to alleviate as
much of that as I can for my family and it was neglectful for me not to have
a will. Death of a loved one is hard enough, I didn't want anyone I
care about to have to figure out what to do with my yarn collection
too!
So, today I'd like to invite you to
consider, if you don't have a will, to join me in this simple process
I did. It only took about 15 minutes and it was a good first step to
being more responsible to my loved ones, now and when I'm gone.
Start by sitting down and writing a
letter to the person(s) who will most
likely be in charge of things after you're gone. No mushy love
stuff, no sentimentality. Just the facts. You can write the tear
jerkers later!
The intention of this letter is to
delegate the entire business of your life, so please keep it simple and
unemotional.
Write down your thoughts and wishes
about
- donating your organs
- funeral arrangements
- how much should they spend and what should they do with the flowers and cash gifts that arrive?
- which couch cushion you stash your mad money in
- any directions about your assets that you require
- do you have particular items to go to particular people?
- who's responsible for burning your diary and closing your facebook account?
If you're like me, you might
include a disclaimer for them to do “this or whatever is easier for
you” on parts that you really don't care about but are just letting
them off the decision hook. Permission to put off, delegate or ignore a task might be what they need more.
Then, consider what is left – what
isn't on that list? Someone will have to handle that too, who will
it be? What do you want them to do?
For example, what should they do with
your clothes, dishes and pantry stock? No one thinks about that but
believe me, when you're gone, someone is going to be standing there
trying to decide who should get the cans of soup and those things
hanging in your closet you never wore. You can make it easy by
listing your favorite charities and instructions to donate or
consider who might benefit from those things and gift them.
That's it! Just a nice list to make
life easier for someone who will be deeply sad for losing you, in
writing, so there's (hopefully) less drama and confusion.
Now, the caveat here is that laws may
or may not uphold your will, there may be extenuating factors and
people may even protest it. So, I'd recommend getting professional
legal help to make it as official and binding as possible.
Finally, let your person(s) know where
this document is and consider giving them copies. There doesn't have
to be a conversation about it even – just that it's done.
Don't forget to review it and update
periodically *put it on your calendar annually*.
Let me know how it goes. I know I
sleep better at night now, I hope you and your loved ones will too.
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